i dreamed that julian went missing for the better part of an afternoon and evening. we suspected he'd taken the bus to the wave pool so i went on a big hunt for him. he was supposed to be carrying his dad's cell phone but he wouldn't answer it. it took forever and i was becoming frantic. just as i was standing on a street corner begging people to help me, my cell rang. on the other end was julian, only his voice was deep like a man's. i asked him where he'd been, and told him how worried i was and why didn't he call us? he said he was busy. i said, doing what? he mumbled something and when i asked him to repeat it, he wouldn't it. then it dawned on me that he'd gone and had sex with someone. "BUT YOU'RE ELEVEN," i cried. "not anymore, mommy," he said, in his big man voice.

*shudder*