two nights ago i dreamt that misha and the kids and i were in an office building downtown. i'm not sure why we were there or what we were doing, but when we tried to leave, police in SWAT team gear told us we weren't allowed. they were blocking the glass doors with their batons out. i peered over their shoulders and saw that they had put up big sandbag barricades around the centre court of the office building, surrounding a man sitting on a bench. the man was wearing a trenchcoat and a hat with a floppy brim and he had a big suitcase next to him on the bench. i demanded they tell me what was happening and one of the cops said that the man's suitcase was filled with enough high powered explosives to destroy everything within a mile radius of him and they were trying to talk him out of doing it. he told me to take the kids and go hide behind the big counter in the building's foyer with everyone else.

for some reason, though, misha insisted that we leave immediately. he said that it was stupid they weren't evacuating us out the back way. so the kids and i followed him down a dark cement stairway and into a parkade under the building. suddenly, though, the suicide bomber was behind us and started chasing us through the darkness. i was trying to urge the kids on but astrid fell behind. i stopped and turned and saw the man grab her, pick her up, and throw her as hard as he could against a wall. she fell and i screamed and ran back towards her. the man didn't try to stop me. astrid was laying on the pavement, totally still with a blanched face and closed eyes and her legs at weird angles and i knew her back was broken. i woke up in horror.