we had gone camping at the base of a mountain, i think out on the similkameen river. the time was the present and it was cold, a light dusting of snow on the ground, and getting colder. the day was grey. misha took the kids on an afternoon hike and i used my time alone at the campsite to sit back in my camping chair, keep warm by the blazing fire, and smoke some reefer. the woods around me were completely still, the river was rushing by in a muted roar and tiny icy flakes of snow were falling all around me. it felt perfect.

suddenly, a cop car pulled up next to our van. i panicked and tried to nonchalantly hide the weed and the pipe but there really was nowhere for them to go without it looking very conspicuous; so i decided to just put them under my chair, and act cool. the cop got out of his cruiser and walked directly over to me.

"hey," he said.

"hello, officer. is there some problem?"

"no, no problem. i met your husband up on the road there. he mentioned you'd be here." i waited for him to volunteer more information but he was just looking all around the campsite as though he'd lost something. he looked a little like the farmer out of the movie "babe". finally he glanced under my camping chair and spotted the stash.

"ahhh," he said, grinning and rubbing his hands together in near-glee.

"oh, uh, uh..." i stuttered, as he reached below me and pulled the pipe and baggy out. "i...uh...uh..."

he just looked at me and shook his head. i was sure i was busted. to my shock, however, he opened up the baggy and loaded himself a huge bowl of weed. i sat there with my mouth agape, watching the cop toke it up with my stash. after he'd had a few hits he said, through a lungful of smoke, "misha said it'd be cool. it's cool, right?"

my mouth still hanging open i nodded mutely at him. he coughed and tried to pass me the pipe but i held up my hand and just shook my head. "no. no thanks," i replied. "i never touch the stuff."

at that point, misha returned to the site and he and the cop had a couple of laughs, clapping each other on the shoulder. the cop said, "hey, thanks a lot, meesh." misha nodded and the cop continued, "i just wanna warn you guys, environment canada says a massive arctic front is moving in. it's going to drop in temperature another fifteen or twenty degrees in the next day. you won't be warm enough out here. you'd better head home. the whole of the lower mainland is going to freeze over."


suddenly we found ourselves on the 30th floor of a highrise in downtown vancouver, overlooking the entire city. the cop had been right. everything was coated in a thick crust of hard ice. the streets were deserted and everything was silent. we stood on the balconey and inhaled the subzero air, astonished.

"look," misha said, pointing at the harbour, "the ocean..."

it was frozen solid. the sky was an ominous grey. i was shivering and wanted to go inside. just as i turned, i saw something coming towards us, through the air. i did a double take when i realized it was a dolphin, flying directly at us, tail down and head up, using it's flippers to propel it forward, and it's tail to steer. it was making a clicking noise as it approached.

"what. the. fuck." i said, tugging misha's sleeve and pointing at the dolphin. it was only a few meters away. misha stared too, agape.

the dolphin came right up to the balconey and i reached out to touch it's cold and rubbery nose. it prodded my hand back and beeped at me playfully. misha was laughing and saying, "i guess because the ocean froze, the dolphins had to learn to fly!" i was simply astonished and moved by what was happening. i held my arms out to the dolphin as if it hug it. it moved into my embrace and i held it tight, like a baby. i wriggled in my arms as though it never wanted to leave and i hauled it over the edge of the balconey and then misha hugged it too and we stood there for a long time, nuzzling it and trying to warm it up. it didn't seem to want to leave, but i felt that if it didn't find some unfrozen stretch of ocean soon there were going to be problems.

"we have no fish, we have no salt water," i was saying to misha.

"the tub," he said, "we'll fill it. and we can go buy some tuna. it will work."

i pondered this for a few minutes.

"ok," i said, doubtfully, and pressing my forehead up against the chattering dolphin's nose. "but the dog is gonna be so jealous."