every june, i howl at the moon
this summer i won't sleep a whit
i'm gonna stay up drinkin
constantly thinkin
'bout how you and i can't quit it.

it'll be like a tom waits song
you know, wet nickles in the gutter
an old hooker in nice shoes
nightingale blues
dirty kisses through wooden shutters.

i said, no, i ain't goin to bed, son
this summer i won't sleep a whit
i'm gonna stay up drinkin
watch both our ships sinkin
since neither of us seem to give a shit.

i don't like asking questions no more
most answers leave me gutted right now
so just say you want me
i'm drunk so you got me
i'm up drinkin and alone anyhow.

but if you're goin to do it, baby
just do it here on my floor
y'can't get here too soon
i was drunk at noon
and i been leavin the chain off the door.

it's a bad habit to get into
they said, "scrapbook, or collect stamps,"
i laughed, "them thrills and chills
don't pay my bills,
i got more bang from my buck as a tramp."

i'm drinkin alone all this summer
i won't sleep a wink if you do
you're on my mind
but you ain't mine
and so i got to poison these blues.

i wanted to take a moment to tell you about the bizarre celebrity dreams i've had the last two nights. this morning after i got up to check on the slumber party i fell back to sleep around 4am and dreamt that i was hanging out with paris and nicky hilton. it happened quite accidentally and they were both just as awful as i imagined them to be. i left in a huff after only a short while but their parents tried to stop me outside whatever the venue was (combo restaurant/dance club, i guess?). they said they were sorry i got the brunt of their daughters' bad moods and wanted to invite me to their home so i could see that they were actually a normal, nice family. i shrugged and said sure and they drove me in a fancy SUV to their mansion. they led me up several very opulant staircases to an attic-type room where there were several personal computers. then the senior hiltons shocked the hell out of me by settling into beanbag chairs and lighting up a couple of joints. we sat around smoking and i remember saying, 'so, why do you think your kids turned out so shitty? you two seem like fairly cool parents, so i don't get it."

then, two nights ago, i dreamed that i wrote an award-winning play about being queer and homeless. people were starting to recognize me in the street and a movie executive contacted me saying they wanted me to adopt the play for the silver screen and they wanted jim carrey to play the lead. they sent him to come stay in vancouver and research the role by visiting the downtown east side and i was assigned to be his tour guide. this part of the dream seemed to go on and on - we were driving around in his fancy car (yeah, i know - doensn't sound like a very good way to research being destitute on the streets of vancouver, does it?), he was buying me dinner, we were getting to know each other, and finally he told me he was now in love with me and he wanted to know if i would consider being his "one and only special girl". i said that i didn't think that was possible at all, but inwardly i was totally flattered and crushing out on him. he then started doing TERRIBLE things while we were out together, in a petulant rage. he was throwing cups of hot coffee at street people and shouting down the tourists and just generally being a complete asshole. i was trying to figure a way to give him what-for without jeopardizing my lucrative movie contract but screwed up and screamed at him using no tact whatsoever to let me out of his "pig-mobile" and then i cried the whole way home on the skytrain knowing that i wasn't going to be able to make us rich enough to save misha from his soul-sucking life as a bus driver after all.

it started out that the upstairs of our house was overrun with squirrels. i couldn't tell if they were tame or not, so i was loathe to let the kids pet them, even though the squirrels didn't seem to be the least bit frightened of us. they were eating the cat kibble and running across our beds and stuff. the kids were delighted and invited all the neighourhood kids in to play. one of the neighbour DADS, who i've always kind of thought of as hot, also came in, and he just invited himself into our bedroom. misha was just getting up and was standing by one of the windows talking to some other adult who was outside, looking up. when hot neighbour dad came into our room i realized misha was standing there buck naked and said, "uh, honey.....everyone can see your winky." hot neighbour dad was sitting on the end of our bed and he was looking rather lasciviously at misha! he even said something about how misha's penis was quite impressive and didn't need to be hidden away on his account. i stood there gaping as hot neighbour daddy started to take off his own clothes and he and misha were making some serious sexy eye contact! when hot neighbour daddy got totally naked i realised he was misha's body twin! i started to feel pretty freaking lucky at that point, when suddenly squirrels came bounding into the room, followed closely by a hoarde of neighbourhood boys! misha and neighbour daddy were totally oblivious and starting to make-out but i felt extreme anxiety and turned to the door to make sure the kids didn't see what was happening. i was too late for one of the older boys, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene even though i was forcibly using my hand to steer his chin and my body to push him out of the doorway. "what...what are they doing in there?" he said as i shut the door behind me, feeling both still kind of turned on, and kind of aghast, and kind of peeved that i was being left out because i had to make sure these kids saw nothing untoward happening between their dad and my husband. "they're...they're...they're trapping squirrels," i said, nonchalantly. "now who wants some lemonade?"