last night i dreamed that [info]romp, [info]ambeaux and i were all getting on a plane together to go somewhere. we were in the airport and i confessed to them that a guy had approached me after i'd bought my ticket asking me to check a package for him onto the flight. when i asked him what was in it, he said, "coffee filters and pot." and i said, "pot pot?" and he nodded. because i am such a sucker and can't say no, apparently, even to dream people i don't know from adam, i said, "welll, okay," but when i told this to ambeaux and romp, they said, "uh, no, you shouldn't do that." but the box had already been checked through and we were about to go through security to get to our gate for boarding. so we panicked and cancelled our trip and ran out of the airport as fast as we could.

when we got back to my house, leon was there with the kids and i had to explain what happened, feeling very stupid and sheepish and bad for ruining our trip to wherever we were going; and also feeling nervous because the drug dogs would surely sniff out that box and my name was associated with it. leon tried to get me to relax with a cup of tea, and romp and ambeaux went for a walk somewhere. as i was dozing, leon was reading a book next to me. suddenly the door to our room was kicked open and two men came in, scary white guys in black suits, pointing guns at me. i shut my eyes and put leon's book over my face and started crying. leon was pleading with them to not hurt me, that i didn't do anything wrong, but the men just yelled at him to shut up or he'd "get it" too. i remember very clearly swallowing very hard, and then BLAM BLAM! two shots right into my skull. it hurt like a very bad migraine. leon was screaming and crying next to me and i laid there waiting to die.

only i didn't die.

in a couple of minutes, i sat up. my head was still aching but there was surprisingly little blood. i was blind in one eye, and couldn't keep my balance. leon was freaking out and heaved me up onto my feet with my arm around his shoulders and started dragging me outside to the van to drive me to the hospital. i couldn't really speak but i started to feel this weird, hot, heavy sensation in the back of my throat, where the nasal passages intersect with it. as i sat in the passenger seat, i started to cough, and blood welled up in my mouth, and i felt a very heavy, hard, hot thing kind of drop from my nasal passages onto the back of my tongue. i opened my mouth and blood came pouring out into my hand and all down my chin. leon was just starting the van and looked over and started hollaring again at the sight of all the blood. i kind of drunkenly leaned over and patted him on the shoulder with my clean hand to try to calm him, and then coughed again and plop, and two little bent, blackened bullets fell out of my mouth into my bloody palm.

"fuckin' crackin'!" i shouted, laughing my ass off.