last night i dreamed i was at this outrageously fancy wedding, with no kids or husband. and at the table where i was seated was matthew mcconaughey. we were having a pleasant chat all through the meal and he kept pouring me glasses of wine. finally it was time to get up and dance and he asked me if i would dance with him. of course i said yes, but i was nearly sloppy drunk and apologized to him in advance for my terrible dancing skills. he laughed and took me in his arms and we started moving to the music, real ballroom-type stuff. i had on this long, rich scarlet red and gold dress with fairy sleeves and bare shoulders. he was in a simple tux. as we dnanced i started asking him questions about his work and life and he said something like, "nothing prepared me for meeting someone like you, christa". and i blushed and said, "i could have danced with anyone here tonight, you know!" and he said, "well, why did you pick me, then?" and i said, "because i always pick the celebrities that i know like to smoke the most pot," to which he laughed and laughed. after a few songs i asked him about hollywood weddings and how many of them seemed to be PR stunts or marriages of convenience and he agreed that that did seem to be the case with most. suddenly i was overtaken with a drunken case of the vapours so strong i excused myself to the ladies room, which was more opulant than even the fanciest hotel room i'd stayed in. i lay on a long blue velvet couch and closed my eyes for just a moment. when i opened them again, i realized i had been a fool to leave matthew mcconaughey alone out there, when he had seeemed so into me, and so many of the other women at the wedding had seemed so into him. i got up in a panic to rush back out, but when i pulled the door open i saw through the crack that several mobsters had stormed the reception, and most people had cleared out. these two gorrilla men were walking around the reception hall with baseball bats and metal rods and chasing two other mobster-type guys. matthew mcconaughey was standing by the door leading out, his face bloodied, using his knuckles to wipe it off his upper lip, looking at the blood briefly, and then turning his attention back to the violence at hand. i was trapped, the fight was happening between me and matthew mcconaughey and the exit. he spotted me and made a hand motion like, "what are you doing? come on, come on!" i swallowed hard, took a deep breath, waited until the two mob guys with the bats and rods were busy beating on the other two mob guys again, and ran for it. matthew mcconaughey caught me in his arms at the other side, and we burst through the doors to the parking lot. he was laughing and bleeding on my dress. i mashed my mouth against his and he pulled away quickly and said, "uh, christa? i don't know if you know this, but...i'm gay."