i'd like to blame every ache i ever had on you
every failing every turn of anguished fate
i'd like to make you own it! me!
hand-me-down and passed around and oh, this bird has flown.
and when your phone stops ringing and all those girls stop singing
would you have me alone?
choking on rubber bands and dipping nipples
in mealy apples and
lifting off the muppet monster mask.
i walked along cedar chip paths and everything was orange rust
the sky, the light, the tight curly haired-calves
the ground, my skin, the state i'm in, every thing burnt umber crust
and it was warm and all of us, we frolicked and the baby cows
followed us until the path did end.
and when i crossed the threshold it was as though orange world had wheels
receded so quickly from my walking abilities it may as well have flown
we turned and faced ice land (not the country)
vin diesel lived in a bungalow basement suite in the house with wrought iron gates
and we laughed at his classless behaviour, so fucking pompous for a millionaire.
then suddenly you, and everyone, all walked ahead
and my knee was crumbling under me
and i couldn't navigate the stairs so caked in ice they were
so i tried to climb the brick and iron
and icicles melted under my hands but fell and penetrated my feet
bleeding ruddy ragged raw bullet holes through the million fragile bones
but so cold i couldn't feel a thing.
and you just kept moving on, around a bend on cobbled streets
and everywhere was snowing, and everywhere everywhere
ice was freezing on my hands and arms
i couldn't move fast enough
i felt the rubber band in my wind pipe
fluttering and sucking and finally inhaled,
that was how i died in all my dreams