the chains of babylon

last night i dreamed that i was part of angel's detective agency. yes, that angel. we were confronted with a large scary demon who demanded vegan cupcakes, or she/he/it would devour the world. 1500 of them. presented to him/her/it in less than 72 hours. of course the entire team looked to me to help soothe the savage beast with goodies, and of course i was certainly up for the challenge. it was nice to have angel relying on me. i could see in his eyes that if i saved the world he'd worship at my feet, and possibly cover my body in sweet, sweet "good vampyre" kisses. i started baking right away, chocolate cupcakes, and that was when i figured out this was an anxiety dream. when the first batch came out of the oven they were horribly unleavened looking, gummy, and entirely unappetizing. i put in a second batch, but when i opened up the oven to take them out, the cupcake tins were gone and all that were left were three ENORMOUS cupcakes that had not cooked properly...burned all to hell on the outside, lopsided, with giant collapsed-in tops and holes in the center. angel was so disappointed. i decided that "good vampyre" kisses maybe weren't so hot after all and told him and the gang to make their own fuckin vegan cupcakes, because i was going out to enjoy my last 72 hours on earth, not spend it in an ill-equipped kitchen with a bunch of pretty boys and girls hovering nervously over me. they begged me to stay but i told them to "talk to the hand" and walked out.