leon and i were sitting underneath a dripping cedar tree, at night, in the pouring rain. it was completely dark and all i could hear was water falling from the sky and leon's voice.

"like this!" he said, throwing a punch into the air at a slightly upwards angle.

"like this?" i asked, trying to imitate him and failing.

"no. you've gotta do it harder, faster, almost like a flicker. i'm slowing it down some so you can see before my hand vanishes."

at this point i realize he isn't just showing me karate punches.

"vanishes?"

"yeah. when you punch through the fabric of this reality."

"what?"

"you can do it. i can do it. i'm trying to show you. it makes a weird noise. and you'll get your hand back. it's just the first step in going into the next dimension."

"okay...."

"like this!" he said again, loudly, punching into the air.

i summoned up my arm strength and punched as hard as i could at the angle he was showing me. still nothing.

"you've gotta get the flick and you've gotta get the angle just right. you are trying to move your hand in four dee, not three dee. get it?"

something about how he phrased it made me understand. i took a last look into his darkened eyes and flipped my head so my sopping wet hair flew out of my face and back. "okay," i said, determined. i drew my arm back, fist upturned, elbow close to my body, and punched the air. at the apex of my thrust, there was a little, barely discernable blip noise, and my hand and the first half of my forearm vanished. that part of my body felt weird and hummy and warm and tingling.

"YOU DID IT!" he shouted, "YOU DID IT!" and then he copied me, and his own arm vanished with the same blipping noise. he looked straight at me and said, "now, are you ready? we're part way there. we're going to go through. we can always come back. are you ready? i'll be with you."

i panicked a little. "what if we end up in different spots?! what is it like there?"

"we won't, and i can't describe it. but reach your hand around and you'll feel mine. we'll be in the same spot. i promise. we'll even hold hands." i did as he said, wiggled my absent hand and arm around, and indeed, i could feel his own warm palm and wiggling digits there.

"reality is the greatest, most persistant illusion. let's see what's really there," he grinned at me. i held my breath, dreading and hoping. and then i woke up.

i was living in this commune-type place, and jimmy fallon had the attic apartment. i kept seeing him around but was too shy to talk to him. finally one day the ladder that connected his apartment with the ground floor, where i was staying, fell just as he was about to come down. i helped set it back up and we started talking. he invited me up to his place later for some chips and soda. i was very excited, because, you know, he's hot and everything. anyway he comes back after doing something in the fields and i go up to his apartment with him. the roof is all windows and he has hardly any furniture. there is a bag of cheezies on the little table and he says to go ahead and have some. i'm embarrassed to tell him i don't eat cheezies. luckily i don't have to because as he reaches for the bag he recoils in horror. there is a little tear in the seal of the bag and THOUSANDS of flies are hatching out of it, turning from little maggots into winged beasts and filling up his apartment. we are both grossed out and he starts apologizing over and over. i say it's not a big deal and in fact it's kind of interesting to watch all these insects going through their life cycle. suddenly i notice that dozens of the flies have started mating inside the bag. i point this out to jimmy who is fascinated. we come in closer for a better look and one of the mating flies looks up at us very pointedly as it is humping another fly, gets pissed off, and presses the seal shut so that we can no longer see him having sex with his girlfriend. the cheezie bag is crinkling and moving back and forth very rhythmically and this strikes both jimmy and i as frikkin hilarious. we are laughing and laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes. i woke up because an actual guffaw escaped from my mouth as i was sleeping.